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Thursday, 27 February 2014

New Life

I absolutely LOVE my new lungs! 

I've shared my life pre transplant, my surgery journey and some of my recovery. Now, where I am I, how do I feel, what are my future plans?

Today, there is NO comparison in how I feel to how I felt before my transplant. It's hard to explain to someone what it feels like not to be able to breathe. The best way I can describe it is having to breathe through a thin straw constantly. Every breath is hard work and you feel completely claustrophobic. I never knew what it felt like to take a DEEP breath in and fill my lungs with air. I do this nearly every day and it makes me so happy! Take a moment and do it yourself. Amazing, right?

 My scars have healed incredibly well. They are still visible but I love them!

"Never be ashamed of a scar. It simply means you were stronger than whatever tried to hurt you."

P.s - Excuse the borderline pornographic photos!

I have NO pain except for the odd occasion when I decide to wear a 'fancy' bra. The bra rubs the middle of my chest and hurts. Beauty is pain!

"Sometimes you have to fall from the mountain to realise what you are climbing for. Obstacles are placed in our way to see if what we want is really worth fighting for. From every wound there is a scar, and a scar tells a story."

Fitness wise I am not where I want to be. I started gym at the beginning of this year but after only 3 sessions my back became very sore and I had to go for physio. My physiotherapist said that my muscles and joints were very weak from all the years of being inactive. This means that I have to start building muscle a lot slower than I had originally planned. No hour long cardio sessions for me any more!

My goal is to get fit enough to take part in the National Transplant games and qualify for the international games in Argentina next year. It's a fairly big goal to set and unfortunately training has had to take a back seat while I adjust to my new life and new job next week.

Weight wise I am also not where I want to be. My appetite is great and I'm eating well. I thought my body just needed some time to adjust but surely a year is enough time? My doctor has used my weight as a bit of a blackmail tool and has said that when I reach my goal weight of 50kgs I can have my feeding tube and portocath removed. I am not using my feeding tube but it is still there and VERY annoying. I have to clean it and dress it daily. A portocath is a central line that is surgically inserted under your skin and used for easy access when they need to drip you. It runs from my boob up to my neck, curves around and goes into my heart. I've had it for about 8 years and it doesn't bother me at all! My current weight is between 47 and 48 kgs and just wont budge!!!! So close yet so far!!

So even though my lungs have changed my life completely it has not cured me. I still have cystic fibrosis and the problems that go with it. These are minor compared to what I had to deal with before but I still have to work on my health every day.

As for the future, I am starting my very first full time job on Monday. This is very exciting but also petrifying. I'm still getting used to my body and 'normal' life. I have so many 'what ifs'. What if it's too exhausting for me and I let my boss down? What if I fail? What if I get sick? What if I hate absolutely hate it? All these are easily answered with a simple 'you'll be fine and if it doesn't work at least you tried'. I will be doing some basic admin and general helping out at an events company. I've always loved events so I'm excited to get into the industry.

This is my song for the year and all the exciting things I aim to achieve!

Such a great song and video, heart warmimg! *goosebumps*

Warm someone's heart with yours when you're gone, register as an organ donor HERE



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