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Monday, 2 March 2015

Lungaversary week

On Thursday the 5th of March it will be 2 years since I recieved my new lungs and my whole life changed.

It's during these milestones when I really look back and reflect on just how much I have to be grateful for. I have achieved so much more than I ever thought I would. Before my transplant I had very humble dreams, I just wanted to be able to go through a day without being in pain or having to make life or death decisions. I wanted to be able to take a deep breath without going into a coughing fit or having my chest spasm and spike with pain. I wanted to be able to eat a meal without having to force every bit down and trying my best to keep it down. I wanted to be able to wake up in the morning and not have to find to try and find the strength to sit up and get through another hard day.

When my friends phoned me to ask how I was doing, I wanted to be able to tell them that I was fine and for it not to be a lie. I wanted them to be able to visit me and look me in the eye without the fear that I saw on so many people's faces. The fear that maybe this would be the last time they saw me!

I had simple goals and beyond that I didn't have the strength or mental energy to imagine more than that.

After my transplnt I achieved all these goals and began to think up new ones. It's extremely scary and overwhelming to be able to have dreams that stretch beyoind simple tasks. I still don't know what I want in life now past having my trabsplant. I'm so happy in this moment and of course I have little goals but my mind is still very much trapped in the constricting mind-set that having a chronic disease gives you. Yes it would be nice to travel, get married, own a multi million dollar company and have the perfect figure. But my heart doesn't yearn for these things... it yearns for my health to remain stable and for my friends and family to be happy and healthy. 

Last month I lost 2 friends that were waiting for a double lung tranplsant like me. It was devastating to lose them and yet another reminder of how lucky I am. It's more a reminder for my friends and family, as I KNOW how lucky I am and how close I was to dying. For others though, it was sometimes difficult to see how much I was struggling because of my positive attitude. When they see others pass away it's a bit of a wake up call to them of how lucky I really was to escape that fate!

RIP Gail 25.10.1988 - 27.02.2015
RIP Melissa 29.05.1988 - 02.02.2015
It breaks my heart to lose friends and frustrates me to no end that the reason they died was because there isn't enough organ donors. People are suffering and dying because there aren't enough people that are willing to take a few moments out of their lives to consider registering as an organ donor. 
It's just unacceptable!

Please do your bit and sign up!!

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