Let Me See You Do That Yoga

Last year I started bio-kinetics to increase my weak muscle tone and just build up strength in general. I have no limitations in what exercise I can do, I have a healthy body and am free to choose what ever physical activity I want. However,... After a lifetime of chronic illness and having never been able to do any sports at school, my body is very weak and unfamiliar with the whole exercise thing.

New Blog Name For A New Year

As 2016 draws to an end, most of us start to look back and reflect on the year we had. We also take this time to think about what we want to achieve in the upcoming year.

Why 2016 doesn't suck!

Let's face it, the world seems to have had a pretty rough 2016 and a lot of people have also had a bad year in their personal capacities. My year was by no means perfect but I can't say it was awful. It's actually quite hard for me to have a bad year now that I can actually breathe! Pre-transplant my life really wasn't ideal and now that I have working lungs, I am the happiest of bumble bees.

If you and your loved ones are healthy, you have everything! Yes, we all need money to survive and that can be very stressful, but too often do people forget the difference between NEED and WANT. If you have everything you NEED then you are far more blessed than the majority of the world. Whenever you are feeling down or that it's been a bad year, look at what you have, not what you don't have.

I have seen so much suffering this year in the lung transplant community. In the last 2 weeks, 3 friends have passed away. First was Lorraine, whom I got to know whilst I was waiting for a donor. She had her double lung transplant just after me and unfortunately had quite a few medical issues which she eventually succumbed to recently. Next was Kirstie Tancock who I have been following on social media for years and is someone I truly looked up to. She has a really incredible story, having had a double lung transplant and then beginning a career of pole fitness only to then need another double lung transplant! She then went back to pole fitness for a few years but sadly she has passed away from rejection. You can read more about her amazing life and last words here - 2nd Chance At Life. Last but not least was Odette who I never got to meet but she is in a whatsapp group with a few of us and I got to know her through that. She had been in hospital for about 10 months and had gone through so much pain and suffering before she passed away. Heart breaking :(

Odette, Lorraine, Kirstie

For these girls, 2016 was their last year in this world and for their families left behind it is most certainly a tragic year that they will never forget.

The thing about pain and tragedy is that it's all relative. When you have experienced so much pain and suffering, your tolerance becomes a lot higher and it takes a lot more to hurt you. Not everyone has had the 'opportunity' to experience true suffering so I understand that my tolerance of what a bad year encompasses of is very different to the average person.  However, everyone has experienced pain or loss of some sort, so I encourage you to revisit those feelings and then compare 2016 to that. If you had financial, romantic or personal troubles this year that has lead you to believe it's been a bad year then remember - you are alive and that's a better year than others have had.

Losing these special ladies has been hard, but I also know of some deserving humans that have finally had their transplants this year and for them, 2016 will be one of the best years of their lives!

2016 doesn't suck. There have been tragedies but there have also been miracles. Don't get caught up focusing on the negative.

My 2016 has been amazing. I have had incredible work opportunities which have not only grown my skill set and confidence but also my network of friends. Travis and I moved in together and we have been so happy living together. I love our little home, it's small and nothing fancy but it's ours and it's filled with love and happiness. I finally got a cat, after wanting one for so long and Dooku is just the most handsome of cats (*In South Africa) and he really does fill the last bit of my heart with joy. 

I know that my good health isn't guaranteed and that life can change in an instant so I try and make the most of every single day. My wish for all of you in 2017 is that you have a great year and where there is darkness you see only light xx

Reflection

I know I celebrated my Lungaversary a while a go but my life didn't actually start until I got out of hospital 3 months later. I wish it was as simple as "Right, there we go, we've given you new lungs, go forth and live" however, if you have read my transplant story then you will know that, that wasn't the case!

A year ago today, I had fought for months in hospital to beat the odds to survive and finally go HOME! During the 3 months in hospital after my transplant, the doctors gave me no indication of how much longer I would have to stay. My case was very unique and I had to go through a lot of different procedures, none of which seemed to be working. The doctors tried to keep my spirits high without giving me false hope that I would be able to go home anytime soon. Unfortunately, I am a pretty smart girl and I knew that I would be stuck in hospital for some time, so to ensure that I wasn't disappointed I stopped hoping all together.

This isn't the same as giving up. I knew I would get out of hospital at some stage but I had been disappointed so many times with 'good results' that in the end, no matter how 'good' things were looking, at the back of my mind I prepared myself for the worst...and I knew I would not be discharged when planned.

However, with my birthday coming up on the 8th of June I told the doctors that no matter what condition I was in, I WOULD be going home. At that stage I think they were equally as keen to get rid of me, even if I had to take all the big machines that I was on, with me.

4 days before my birthday I was finally well enough to go home. My punctured lungs had healed and although I was still very sick and throwing up non stop the doctors were confident that a bit of home time would sort the rest of my problems out. As soon as I got home I stopped throwing up and my health in general improved at a rapid pace!

Driving home from the hospital was very emotional. I had been home a few weeks after my transplant, just for the weekend and then admitted back into hospital, so it wasn't the first time out with my new lungs. However, it was just as special and as scary as the first drive. I was overwhelmingly excited but also extremely anxious that something would set me back and I would have to return to the hospital. Thankfully I have had a clean bill of health and I have not been admitted since.

Treatment before my transplant included admissions into hospital every 3 months for 2 weeks. I had done this routine since I was 13 and of course later when I was very ill, I spent more than half of my life in a hospital bed. To think that I have not been in hospital for a year is absolutely incredible!!! I dread the day that I have to go back, for any sort of procedure!

For now though, everything looks good and there are no words for how happy I am to be LIVING.

Holiday

Last month, I resigned from my job and took off to Zimbabwe for just over a month!
Now before you say 'Jeesh Fawn, that's a bit risky, quitting your job for a holiday?" let me reassure you that it was definitely worth it! Plus I got back to Joburg this week and have already been offered a job!

I know, more than most people, how short life really is! This doesn't mean you should be reckless and completely carefree with your decision making but it does mean that sometimes you just have to do what feels right and trust that everything will work itself out!

The Schedule:

25/04 - Arrive in Zim, 1st Hens party (Tin Roof)

26/04 - Home, Family Dinner

27/04 - 1st Kitchen Tea

29/04 - Coffee & catch-up with friends

30/04 - Hair/make-up trials, Birthday Braai + Party (Tin Roof)

2/05 - Wedding Rehearsal

3/05 - Michael & Sara's wedding

7/05 - Party (Tin Roof)

9/05 - Girls Dinner, Party (Tin Roof)

11/05 - Mother's day brunch

16/05 - 2nd Kitchen Tea & Hens party (Tin Roof)

20/05 - Nails done with bridal party

22/05 - Leave for Vic Falls

23/05 - Saw the Falls, Sundowner Cruise on the Zambezi

24/05 - Siana & Kevin's wedding

25/05 - Lunch at Vic Falls Boat Club, Final Dinner

25/05 - Back to Harare

26/05 - Back to Joburg

So as you can see it was a rather eventful trip! Tin Roof is Harare's local drinking hole, it's a great place to bump into old friend's but not a great place to be if you want a quiet night out!
There were obviously more coffee's with friends, lunches, dinners etc but you get the idea! I'm going to let the photo's do the talking from here, even though they NEVER do the real life view any justice! 

Peta, Lisa (Sister), Sara, Me, Shendl (Maid of Honour), Moira missing.

My beautiful Barbill

Tea with Snoek and Barbill

Chilling with Angel

Hair Trial 

Bright and Beautiful

Love is in the air

The Bride and Groom

Gorgeous Setting.

Celebrating Mother's Day

Katie, Meg, Me, Siana & Hele.

Less civilized Hen's party

Mani & Pedi for the wedding

My first time seeing Vic Falls!!

Rainbows everywhere! 

Incredible!

Gin & Tonic - Vital part of my anti malaria protection programme! 

Bridal party

The Bride and Groom

Gorgeous! 

Back to Joburg! 

Such an amazing holiday! This time last year I would still be in hospital, recovering from the punctured lungs incident. It's absolutely incredible that I am able to do the all things that I am doing. I dreamed of having a 'normal' life, being able to go to the shops and cook my own dinner, but travelling to Vic Falls and being able to do everything that I am doing, really as exceeded my dreams! 

Moral of the story - AIM HIGHER, DREAM BIGGER, GO FURTHER! 

Home

I am a born and bred Zimbabwean and have spent most of my life on our beautiful farm just outside Harare (Ruwa).